Thanks so much for visiting us during our journey, Steve, Heather, Ed, Joe, Emily, Hana, Zeke and Samuel!
December 1- 2, 2007 Our Second Weekend in Guangzhou
Saturday we had an episode with Sam that lasted a couple of hours. Once we were able to get Leila to our room to translate, things calmed down. We believe that Sam needs to win at all costs. He needs to be the leader, the show off, if you will. This is how he has managed to get the attention he needs. We’ve had Leila explain what it means to be a part of a family and how a persons’ character is reflected in how he or she acts. We were very firm with Sam as to what we expect and what we will and will not tolerate. We told Leila that we were sure we would need to have another visit about the issues faced today before we leave here. Ah, life is always interesting.
Saturday afternoon we went to an amusement park. It was fun and the boys had a great time, but we prefer the parks with grass (that you can’t walk on), trees, people playing games and dancing and singing, etc. We think Sam needs to go somewhere like Cedar Point Amusement Park in Sandusky, Ohio and ride a real roller coaster and see what real fear is all about. What fun that’ll be.
Sunday started with going to church and then later in the day we visited the pearl and jade market. Each time we’ve been to Guangzhou the various families have gone to, and talked about the pearl and jade market. We’ve never gone so this time we decided we’d see what it was all about. Hmmmm….. We learned that there are what seems to be infinite numbers of pearls and pieces of jade in every configuration imaginable. Many people spend hundreds, or thousands, of dollars making purchases. We spent about $14.00 and pretty much have now “been there, done that.” We can skip that particular outing if we ever come back.
Sam didn’t like going to church so we plan on being there again next Sunday for another “learning experience.” Sam also didn’t like going to the pearl and jade market and pretty much made that as unpleasant as he could. He did like the amusement park. We learned that if he likes something, it’s a fun time for all. If he doesn’t, fun comes to a grinding halt. Well, you might say that Heather was angry with this behavior and, via Leila, basically told Sam off. She even went so far as to give him an ultimatum. We won’t go into details, but suffice it to say, Heather’s not putting up with any more, what she calls, “plain bad behavior.” It’s one thing to be grieving. It’s another to act like a spoiled, self-centered, poorly behaved, kid.
We will do anything for Sam. We will love him. We will care for him. We will play with him. We will give him a home. HOWEVER, we will not be held hostage by bad behavior. We’ll see what happens each day, but Heather has made it clear that she will tolerate no more garbage like what we’ve seen when we’re doing something that just doesn’t suit him. Can you tell that she was ANGRY?
There are times when a child needs to be consoled. Then there are times when consoling is totally wrong. We understand both, and understand the differences between grieving and bad behavior. We’re taking this one day at a time so bare with us.
Well, that’s pretty much all for now. Tomorrow we’re free for the day. We wish we could come home, but we have to wait until we can complete what’s required for the United State’s end of the adoption. Also, we learned Saturday that Sam’s abandonment paperwork from the orphanage was not accepted by the United States Consulate so corrections are being made and a new version of “his abandonment” is being prepared and will be delivered on Monday. Seems there needs to be more detail as to why the older lady who found him, and raised him for 7 ½ years, left him at the police station. Hopefully what the orphanage delivers on Monday will be determined to be satisfactory and all will move forward on schedule.
Blessings to all our friends and family,
Steve, Heather, Joe and Sam still hanging in there,
by our fingernails, in China, and
Ed, Emily, Hana and Zeke at home,
along with Grandma and Aunt Sue,
doing a whole lot better than we are.
