I am so tired - I just wanna crash. But, since Chris left earlier today - that truly leaves me to get the job done. One thing that Chris neglected to share yesterday was that we actually finalized yesterday! I was a little disappointed that it ended up NOT being on the 4th of July, but am glad that we have her - so it doesn't really matter.
We went to the police station today to apply for Anna's passport (so she can get a visa and immigrate!). So much has changed in only 15 months! It went quickly and was painless. The station has apparently changed locations since we were here last time.
Today has been rough. If I am honest with myself (and you) I will have to admit that I reallllllllly hoped that I could post only about flowers and smiles and laughter and quick bonding, etc. However... Anna is struggling. I am struggling a little, too. I was completely prepared for handling a child that only wanted me and couldn't bear to let me out of her sight. Anna however is struggling with LETTING me help her and care for her. Her personality is so happy and carefree that it masks (very well) the fact that she will go to anyone. We were in a shop today and Anna became VERY agitated. The shop keeper was following us around - about 2 paces behind me - and Anna full on reached for her to take her from me! I about fell apart there in the store. So I am trying to change my thinking and my strategy for helping Anna to bond to me and develop a HEALTHY attachment. It is taking a lot for me to re-analyze how best to help her. Again (as with Amy) I am challenged by the love that GOD has shown me when he adopted me as his child. I think about the times that I said I was his child (a Christian) but walked around flirting with everyone and everything out there and ignoring the love he was so obviously giving me.
I love her so much already. I am committed to seeing her through this transition in her life. I am confident that the child I step off the plane with at Mid-Continent will not be the child that I just put to bed tonight.
Please pray that I can help her see me as her Momma and not just another person in the world.
Before Chris left today, we talked about whether going to Yangjiang is in the best interest of Anna and for her bonding and attaching to me. If Chris was still here, it might be worth the risk. BUT, since he won't be there to support Anna and I, we have decided not to make the trip. As with so many decisions we have made along this journey, I am trusting that we will not regret the decision, but will stand firm.
I miss Chris so much already. He is such a rock and is so good at bringing humor to tense situations. Please pray as he travels that GOD will protect him and bring him safely home to Ash, Austin and Amy.
For those that know about my "Truth" project - Please keep them coming...
Enjoy the pics. Anna IS an amazing and beautiful and smart little girl. I have NO doubt you will love her, too!
Happy Independence Day!!!
Good morning!
a Momma/Daddy snuggle
Anna has been having some serious "belly issues" and decided that laying her belly on my lap offered some relief...
