Tomorrow is the oath taking ceremony and then we are free to go home!
I just listened to the podcast of Dave’s sermon from Sunday. Sooooo blessed to have been able to listen to that here. It was about having the “long view” and proper perspective – how according to God, “good” is anything that conforms us to Christ-likeness. I guess that this: adoption and China adoption trip life - is good. It isn’t easy, but it IS good.
I never know how or what to journal from here. It’s hard to know whether the whole story needs to be told or not. There will always be things that I don’t share, in order to protect my children and preserve their story to tell in their time.
But
I have been listening to one song every day on this trip. It’s by a group called downhere. It’s called “Here I Am”. It seems so appropriate to every facet of this 7 month journey to this little boy. I keep thinking that all I can offer to God is empty hands… I come to this place with plans and lists and hopes and dreams, but in the end, I have nothing to offer but this heart.
Sometimes Your calling comes in dreams
Sometimes it comes in the Spirit's breeze.
You reach for the deepest part of me,
And call out for the things of eternity.
But I'm a man, of dust and stains,
You move in me, so I can say,
CHORUS:
Here I am, Lord send me,
All of my life, I make an offering,
Here I am, Lord send me,
Somehow my story is part of your plan,
Here I am
Setbacks and failures, and upset plans,
Test my faith and leave me with empty hands.
Are you not the closest when it's hardest to stand?
I know that you will finish what you began.
These broken parts you redeem,
Become the song, that I can sing
(chorus)
Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness,
And the fear that I'll fail you in the end,
In this mess, I'm just one of the pieces,
I can't put this together but you can.
I have said many times on this trip that “I can’t…” make my attitude change, push myself further, go on. And each time I say it, what I mean in my heart is “I can’t do this in my own strength”. I am so weak here. Weaker than I am at home. I am sure that jet lag and poor eating add to this weakness, but physical strength isn’t what I am talking about. I am talking about my heart. I so desperately want to offer this child everything he needs and yet, he needs so much. Reassurance. Safety. Love. Compassion. Patience. Encouragement.
Or maybe it’s more like: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control?
Those aren’t natural responses to a stressful situation.
It continues to amaze me how much I grow and am blessed through this experience. I am still learning. Connie told me this morning that when Abe woke up at 4:30, I was very calm and patient with him. I wish I could say that I remained patient. I did not. I just want to do better. For Abe.
All this blogging from China - it’s a story. Somehow these stories (Amy, Anna and Abe) are part of His plan.
Enough of that deep thinking…
I love airport arrivals because it’s like visiting the hospital when a baby is born! We visited my newest nephew – Reed – in the hospital the day he was born (just a few weeks ago). Amy was processing it all and said something about when “everyone came to see her at the hospital”. I pulled her to the side and explained that when Momma and Daddy bring a baby home from China, everyone comes to the airport to meet them and that when she came home, she had a very large group of well wishers waiting to welcome her. That’s why it’s important. As much as I just want to “hunker down” and love on my kids and my hubby, we decided that we need to offer this to Abraham. So we would love to welcome anyone to meet Abe on Friday night at the airport.
I’ll make you a deal: you start praying now for our LONG flight home and in return, you can scroll down and see the pictures!!! LOL!!!
Some seriously fun pics today, folks!
Abraham: awake TOO early, but still blowing kisses!
snoozing in the stroller mid-morning
Me, Abe and Lily!!! We love Lily! She is the magic (along with Kathy) behind Anna and Abe’s adoptions
This is really all that Connie has been doing here… laying around. Reading. Watching TV. Eating Swedish Fish. Geesh! (Seriously! Connie is awesome and I love her to pieces! I need a pic with all three of us together!)
