As I reflect on my time since returning from China with Abigail, many thoughts past through my mind. I think of long journeys, of abundant learning, love, peace, joy, and of new experiences now and yet to come.
My journey to get Abigail started in early October, 2005, when I applied to America World, my adoption agency. When I started my journey, once your dossier was logged in, you traveled to China within eight months to pick up your child. I heard rumors that times were increasing, but I never dreamed it would take six years. My Grandma Ball could not understand what was taking so long. She felt if there where children in China who needed homes and I wanted one, that I should be able to go right away to pick one up. She really wanted to meet Abigail. I know that she is smiling down from heaven knowing Abigail is finally home. The long journey to China to pick up Abigail was a trip of a lifetime. My parents and I learned so much about China, especially the areas we visited. I hope I can take Abigail back one day. I feel there is so much more to see and learn.
Abigail has changed so much since I first held her in my arms on October 24th. Abundant learning has defiantly occurred. When I first received her, she was quiet, pale, slender and had trouble sitting on her own. My guides believe that probably Abigail was fed on schedule, but the rest of the time she was left in the crib. It was obvious she had never eaten solid food because she didn't know what to do with it when we put it in her mouth. Abigail is no longer pale and she definitely would not be called slender. She loves to eat and can now feed herself. Sitting by herself is no longer a problem and she is now crawling. On December 11th, she took her first few steps by herself and then fell into my arms, laughing. She is no longer quiet. I am still hunting for the volume control button. She loves music and is already singing with me in the car. She is fond of our dogs, Tyler and Des, but doesn't hesitate to push them, or any other dog, away when they are being too pushy. She is saying a few English words such as bye bye, mama, love you, and uh oh. She can point to her nose and then my nose upon request. She listens to the messages on the phone by herself, when I am not looking. Yes, she has erased a few messages. A few lost messages are not the end of the world. She already has me trained. She calls and I come running. I feel she deserves a little extra time now, to make up for the first eighteen months when she received so little. I think one of the hardest parts of being a parent is learning how to get other things done in addition to spending quality time with my child. I am glad I was able to take three months off work to spend with her. Time is flying, I return to work on January 16th. I feel blessed to have Abbi in my life and I love her so much already. I love the smile Abbi gives me every morning when I come to get her up out of the bed and how she holds me tight when I first pick her up. I love watching Abbi sleep, looking peaceful and angelic. I feel joy when she rocks back and forth, smiling and clapping her hands while listening to music. I love her contagious, joyful laughter as I pretend to throw her over my shoulder or as we play peek a boo. I enjoy her frequent cackles as I push her in a swing. I have experienced a lot of joy, by looking at life through my child's eyes. I worried when I first heard her age that we would have trouble bonding.
I was also distressed to note that in none of her pictures was she smiling. I thought I would need to be patient while she bonded, learned to trust me, and found her inner joy. She was smiling by her second day with me and was crying to come back to me before we left China. Her pediatrician was amazed when she noted Abbi was already allowing me to comfort her at her November 6 appointment. Praise God for this answer to prayers. Abigail's inner joy is strong and she loves experiencing new things. I am so blessed to be her Mom. Abbi and I have already had many new experiences together and I look forward to the ones to come. Abbi is everything I hoped and prayed for and I thank God for her everyday. I pray I can help Abigail grow up to be a happy, intelligent, caring adult. Going through Advent Season this year, I look at things differently. I think of the first four candles and what
they symbolize: hope, love, joy, and peace. I realize
God has already helped me experience all these things through my child, Abigail. We are His children. Then I think of the last candle and what it symbolizes: the promise of eternal life. I look forward to everlasting life with my daughter, family and friends. I realize that we received everlasting life because God gave His Son. Abigail has only been with me about two months and I can't imagine giving her up for others. What love God does have! |
